Looking for Funny Dark Jokes and Black Comedy Jokes.
Then Check out the Best Funny Dark Humor Jokes which will help you to choose the best one.
Dark Jokes
Check out the best Funny Dark Jokes for you
- Why do orphans have 363 days in a year? Because they have no father’s or mother’s day.
- I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
- You are not completely useless, you can always be used as a bad example.
- Today I asked my phone ” Siri, Why I am still single?” and it activated the front camera.
- What is the difference between black and white fairytale? White begins “Once upon a time” and Black begins “y’ all motherfuckers ain’t gonna believe this shit!”.
- Even the people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them to the stairs.
- Why so many orphans got so famous? It’s “Go big” or “Go home” so.
- You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
- My grandfather said my generation relies to much on the latest technology, so I unplugged his life support.
- Did you the letter “F” in orphan stands for “Family”.
- Boss – You should have been here at 8. Me – Why what happened at 8.
- If you ever feel lonely. turn the light and watch the horror movie after that you will always feel that someone is behind you.
- If threesome is with three people and twosome is with two, do you know understand why people call you “handsome”.
- Patient : Doctor are the results of the test ready? I’m dying from curiosity. Doctor :Heh, not only from curiosity.
- I love my friends to death, but that doesn’t mean I am going to answer my phone when they call me.
- I am not saying let’s kill all the stupid people, I am just saying let’s remove all the warning labels and let the problem solve itself out.
- I stopped telling jokes about unemployed people because none of them worked.
- English Teacher – Give me the opposite of this sentence , “Children in the dark make mistakes”, Student – “Mistakes in the dark make children”, Teacher – “Get Out”.
- Me – “I’m going to steal your heart”, She – “Omg that’s so romantic”, Me an organ trafficker😊.
- I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words to me just before he died “Are you still holding the ladder?”.
- Today was a terrible day, My ex got hit by Bus and I lost my job as a bus driver.
- I wonder what happens when the doctors wife eats an apple.
- Whoever discovered milk was doing some weird shit to the cow.
- When I get to work, I first hide, Because a good worker is hard to find.
- Stop, Complaining about your life, There are people out there dating your Ex.
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Dark Humor Jokes
Check out the Best Dark Humor Jokes for you.
- Dad, do you know why it’s so dark at night? No Sun.
- She said her kids have A,D,D.. My smart a** said “All different daddies”, Now I am blocked.
- If people are talking behind your back, Just fart.
- Sometimes I have to remind myself, It’s not worth the Jail time.
- Where do find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.
- I sat in my haircutters chair and said “Make me look Sexy”, and she started drinking.
- My wallet is like onion, when I open it, it makes me cry.
- Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn, that should make cremation little more interesting.
- At my funeral I giving everyone a stun gun.. last person standing gets all my stuff.
- People need to start appreciating the effort I put in not to to be a serial killer.
- Life is like a D88k, sometimes it’s up and sometimes it’s down but it won’t be hard forever.
- My heart has no room for you, but trunk of my car definitely does.
- If you see me smiling, it’s because I am thinking of doing something bad, If you see me laughing, It’s because I already have.
- If short people smoke weed, do they get high or medium.
- Patience : What you have when you have too many witnesses.
- When someone say “Expect the Unexpected”, slap them and say “you didn’t expected that, did you?”
- It’s easy to make fun of short people, the jokes always go over their head.
- My mind is like my internet browser, 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.
- Silence is Golden, duct tape is silver.
- I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently, I have new ideas.
- When people see you laying down with your eyes closed, they still ask “Are you sleeping?”, Me – “No I am training to die”.
- Me- I prevented a murder today. He – Really? How?. Me – Self control.
- I was drinking margarita and the waitress screamed “Does anyone know CPR?”, I yelled “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed , Well except once guy.
- Just because you are unique, that doesn’t mean you are useful.
- My son who is into astronomy, asked me, how stars die “Usually an overdose son,” I told him.
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Funny Dark Jokes
- “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing, Except the funeral.
- My first day as a crime scene investigator, Detective – How did this man drown?, Me – He couldn’t breathe underwater.
- My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list, Now I can’t read anything.
- Cigarettes are good for environment because they kill people.
- I visited my new friend in his apartment, he told me to make myself at home, so I threw him out, I hate having visitors.
- The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I passed her a glue stick accidentally instead, She still isn’t talking to me.
- My boss told me to have a good day, So I went home.
- Jokes about unemployment people aren’t funny, they just don’t work.
- I made a website for orphans, Unfortunately it doesn’t have home page.
- Why did orphan go to church? so had someone to call father.
- “I work with animals,” the guy says to his date, “That’s so sweet” she replies, “I love a man who cares about animals, where do you work?” “I’m butcher” she says.
- What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? you can’t here an enzyme.
- My roommate says our house is haunted, but I have lived here for 300 years and not noticed anything unusual.
- I got fired from my job at the bank today, An old lady asked me to check her balance, So I pushed he away.
- Why is an iPhone X perfect for orphans? because it has no home button.
- I only date black girls, because I hate meeting father.
- I hope death is a woman, because it will never come for me.
- Why do lesbians have short hair?, because they can’t keep it strong.
- The most viral trend of 2020 was dying.
- What comes after a billion? Divorce.
- How many feminists does it take to draw an arrow? None, Because they can’t make a point.
- A good looking girl waved at me today.. but there was no way I was swimming out that far to save her.
- What is difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor is 15 body’s in one dumpster, morbid humor is one body in 15 dumpsters.
- What is the difference between unicycle and my ex? Unicycle can take only one person at a time.
- What is the difference between a cop and a bullet? After a bullet kills someone you know it’s been fired.
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Black Comedy Jokes
Check out the Best Black Comedy Jokes for you.
- To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket, I am like you can hide but you can’t run.
- Told my boss that I need time off work as my wife was murdered? He asked how long I would need. Told him “About 20 years with good behaviour”
- Why do cannibals make good lovers? because they’ll always eat you out.
- I always go for girls in their prime. 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13.
- My favorite episode of earth was 9/11? because it was pilot episode.
- How do fit 10 Jews in a car? 2 in front 3 in back and the rest in the ashtray.
- What’s the worlds tallest airport? world trade center.
- What do you call book club that’s been stuck on the same for ages? Church.
- How does a feminist screw in a lightbulb? She puts the lightbulb up to the ceiling and wait for the world to revolve around her.
- Why did the orphan rob the bank? to be wanted.
- If astrology isn’t real.. Then how come all cancers have the same hairstyles?.
- Where do suicide bombers go after they die? Everywhere.
- How do you keep a blind kid entertained? Give him a sheet of sandpaper and say it’s a word search.
- My wife asked me to choose between her and my gaming console? Of course I chose her, she is easier to beat than any of my games.
- I used to have relationship with a blind girl, which was rewarding but really challenging. It took me ages to learn how to copy her husband’s voice.
- If I got a piece of bread for every gender I’d have just enough bread to make a sandwich. But I would not do that anyway coz that’s woman’s job.
- What’s suicide bombers worst fear? Dying alone.
- What’s the difference between an America and Computer? Americans don’t have trouble shooting.
- Everything has changed since my girlfriend got pregnant? My name, my address and my phone number.
- I told my girlfriend that the most attractive thing on a woman was “Good legs”, She was outraged and she almost fell out of her wheelchair.
- I was raped in jail.. My family is taking monopoly way too seriously.
- I called a suicide helpline in Iraq. They got excited and asked If I could drive a truck.
- Why does the queen in chess have so much more mobility than the king? Because the board looks like kitchen floor.
- Why don’t school libraries have “How to commit suicide books anymore”, Kids never return them.
- What do you call a rich person in Africa? A tourist.
- What do you call a dog with no legs? whatever you call them, he isn’t going to come.
- I didn’t give my depressed friend high five. The next day the police were at my door asking why I left him hanging.
- Why there is no Walmart in Iraq? Because there is a Target on every corner.
